
Di Indonesia, sering anda dengar celetukan orang tua bahwa mengasuh dua anak laki-laki itu lebih sulit daripada banyak anak perempuan. Kegiatan sehari-hari anak laki-laki bersaudara itu kalau tidak bertengkar, pasti membuat kekacauan. Kalimat “Bandel. Namanya juga anak laki,” menjadi kalimat yang wajar diucapkan oleh orang tua ataupun orang dewasa yang melihatnya.
Tapi, benarkah label itu layak disematkan kepada semua anak? Tentu tidak, jika orang tua tahu ilmu untuk membesarkan anak laki-laki bersaudara.
Perbedaan biologis, emosional, dan juga kepribadian, antara anak laki-laki dan perempuan tentu memengaruhi perbedaan pola asuhnya. Namun, benarkah membesarkan anak laki-laki lebih sulit?
Menurut Leonard Sax, MD, penulis buku Boys Adrift Otak dan pertumbuhan setiap jenis kelamin memiliki tingkat yang berbeda dan akan mempengaruhi perilaku antara anak perempuan dan laki-laki. Sehingga cara merawat anak perempuan dan laki-laki sangatlah berbeda. Simak juga Ini 10 Kiat Mengasuh Kakak-Adik Laki-Laki
Dalam penelitian Allan N Schore mengenai perkembangan saraf dan endokrin anak laki-laki disebutkan beberapa perbedaan dasar antara anak laki-laki dan perempuan yang perlu diketahui orangtua:
1. Secara sosial, fisik, dan linguistik, anak laki-laki lebih lambat matang.
2. Sirkuit otak yang mengatur stres pada anak laki-laki juga lebih lambat berkembang sejak di kandungan dan setelah lahir.
3. Anak laki-laki lebih rentan pada gangguan neuropsikiatrik yang muncul di kandungan, sehingga mereka juga rentan terhadap gangguan tumbuh kembang seperti autisme atau ADHD.
4. Anak laki-laki lebih gampang terpengaruh secara negatif oleh stres lingkungan, baik sejak di kandungan atau setelah dilahirkan. Termasuk di dalamnya adalah zat-zat toksin dari lingkungan. Anak perempuan memiliki mekanisme alami yang membuatnya lebih tahan stres.
5. Di usia 6 bulan, bayi laki-laki sudah menunjukkan tanda frustasi ketimbang bayi perempuan. Di usia setahun, bayi laki-laki menunjukkan reaksi lebih besar terhadap stimulasi negatif.
6. Bayi laki-laki lebih membutuhkan dukungan ibunya. Perpisahan dengan ibu tentu berpengaruh pada bayi, apa pun gendernya, namun pengaruhnya lebih buruk pada bayi laki-laki.
7. Orangtua dan pengasuh sebaiknya mengurangi tekanan pada anak laki-laki, misalnya tak perlu melarang anak menangis hanya karena ia laki-laki. Anak laki-laki juga membutuhkan ungkapan kasih sayang dari orangtuanya. Kelembutan dan sikap responsif terhadap kebutuhan emosi anak justru membuat anak laki-laki mampu bersikap lebih kuat.
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