Cara Mendidik Anak Saat Tinggal Bersama Mertua

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Ketika kita sudah menikah dan memiliki keluarga sendiri tentu akan sangat repot jika masih tinggal bersama mertua. Bukan hanya masalah pada tempat tinggalnya saja, melainkan keterlibatan dalam mendidik anak pun akan merasa sedikit terganggu.

Jika masih tinggal bersama mertua tentu dalam mendidik anak pun akan selalu mendapatkan instruksi dari mertua, apalagi jika itu merupakan cucu pertama bagi mereka, lebih repot lagi karena mereka akan protektif dan berlebihan dalam memberikan kasih sayang.

Mungkin maksud mertua itu baik akan memberikan apa yang diinginkan oleh si cucu, tetapi jika dalam memberikannya berlebihan justru akan membuat anak semakin nakal, manja dan selalu sakit atau ngambek ketika suatu hari permintaannya tidak selalu dipenuhi.

Sebagai contoh kecil saja, si anak meminta untuk dibelikan permen kepada orang tuanya, tetapi karena alasan sedang batuk atau sakit gigi orang tua tidak mengabulkan permintaannya. Kemudian anak akan datang kepada kakek atau neneknya, mereka dengan mudah membelikannya. Maka yang ada anak akan semakin tidak suka pada orang tuanya dan lebih menyukai kakek dan neneknya.

Tentu sikap mertua seperti itu tidak bisa sepenuhnya dipersalahkan, karena biasanya mereka memiliki alasan yang kuat mengapa ingin memberikan kasih sayang yang berlebih kepada cucu-cucunya. Salah satu alasan yang real adalah para orang tua zaman dahulu merasa bahwa dia dulu tidak bisa memberikan kasih sayang dengan sutuhnya kepada anak-anaknya karena faktor ekonomi yang mungkin kurang dan sekarang dia ingin mengasihi cucu-cucunya, dia tidak ingin cucunya merasa sedih dan tidak bahagia seperti anak-anaknya.

Selain itu, ada juga faktor lain yang menjadi alasan yakni ingin menjadi berarti bagi sang cucu dimasa tuanya, karena dia merasa tidak lagi berarti dimata anak-anaknya, nasehat pun tidak lagi diperlukan karena sudah pandai dan berhasil, oleh karena itulah untuk menjadi berarti keberadaannya maka kakek nenek memilih untuk mengasihi cucu-cucunya.

Hal itu masih baik-baik saja, asalkan tidak terjadi konflik dengan orang tua si anak, karena anak akan menjadi berontak kepada orang tuanya akibat pembelaan dari kakek nenek. Konflik tersebut bisa melebar apabila orang tua si anak merasa selalu diinterfensi dan menjadi bertengkar dengan mertua.

Untuk mencegah supaya hal tersebut tidak terjadi, maka sebaiknya bicarakanlah dengan bijaksana baik langsung dengan mertua atau orang tua atau bisa juga melalui pasangan anda demi kemajuan si anak. Para kakek nenek juga harus menghargai otoritas orang tua terhadap anak dan tidak terlalu banyak mencampuri kehidupannya. Selain membangun komunikasi dengan mertua atau kakek nenek, penting juga untuk membangun komunikasi dengan guru.

Memang agak repot lagi jika menghadapi mertua yang cerewet, sok pintar dan maunya terus mengatur. Tetapi, sebaiknya anda tetap bersikap bijaksana karena biar bagaimana pun mereka adalah mertua yang wajib anda hormati demi sang suami. Memang tidak mudah, tetapi sebagai orang tua tentu harus bisa lebih bijaksana demi anak dan suami anda.

Tips mendidik anak ketika tinggal bersama mertua

Ada beberapa cara yang bisa anda lakukan untuk mendidik anak ketika masih tinggal bersama orang tua, tips tersebut di antaranya adalah:

1. BERTUKAR PIKIRAN KEPADA SUAMI ANDA TENTANG POLA APA YANG INGIN DIPILIH UNTUK MENGASUH ANAK ANDA.

Tentu anda harus mendiskusikannya dengan suami anda tentang pola asuh seperti apa yang diinginkan untuk mendidik anak supaya tumbuh dengan baik dan berkepribadian. Ketika keputusan itu sudah dibuat dan disepakati maka tidak ada salahnya duduk berdampingan dengan mertua untuk menjelaskan perihal pola asuh yang anda dan suami anda tetapkan. Dengan demikian, maka mertua akan menghargai apa yang sudah diputuskan bersama suami.

2. MENOLAK DENGAN TEGAS DAN SANTUN JIKA ADA PENDAPAT MERTUA YANG TIDAK SEPAHAM DENGAN ANDA DAN SUAMI ANDA.

Jika anda tidak suka kehidupan anda dalam mendidik anak mendapatkan campur tangan terlalu jauh dari mertua maka sebaiknya bicarakanlah dari hati ke hati dan jelaskan niat anda. Anda bisa meminta waktu kepada mertua untuk membuktikan bawah anda sebagai orang tua suaranya perlu didengar oleh anak-anaknya.

3. TUNJUKANLAH SIKAP TEGAS DAN POSITIF TERHADAP MERTUA.

Biasanya hal tersebut akan terlihat dari sikap dan juga tingkah laku anak anda. Ketika anak anda berbuat hal-hal tidak baik, maka sudah pasti mata dan pikiran mertua tertuju pada anda sebagai orang tua. Namun sebaliknya, jika anak anda tumbuh dengan baik, maka mertua akan mengacungkan jempol untuk anda.

Jadi, kuncinya anda harus bersikap tegas dan positif terhadap mertua anda.

4. MENCOBA UNTUK MENERAPKAN POLA ASUH YANG DISARANKAN OLEH MERTUA.

Jika memang pola asuh yang diterapkan oleh mertua dalam mendidik anak anda benar dan masuk akal menurut anda dan suami anda, maka tidak ada salahnya untuk menerapkannya sebagai tambahan dari pola asuh yang sudah anda dan suami anda tentukan. Namun dengan catatan, jika hidup anak anda lebih teratur, nyaman, dan juga aman. Artinya si anak tidak merasa tertekan dan merasa bahagia.

5. COBALAH MEMINTA KEPADA MERTUA UNTUK IKUT MENERAPKAN SARAN POLA ASUH YANG DIKEMUKAKAN.

Ketika mertua menyarankan untuk pola asuh terhadap anak anda, maka cobalah untuk meminta kepada mertua untuk ikut mempraktekannya tentang apa yang disarankan. Dengan begitu, mertua maupun orang tua sama-sama mengerti apakah pola asuh seperti itu sesuai atau tidak untuk anak anda. Anda dan juga mertua anda pun bisa saling mengkoreksi tanpa ada kesan menyalahkan satu sama lain.

Demikianlah tadi cara mendidik anak ketika masih tinggal bersama mertua. Semoga tips di atas dapat bermanfaat bagi anda semua.

Sumber : Sayangianak.com

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