Bagi Anda yang memiliki anak berusia 3-5 tahun, pernahkah merasa si kecil membuat kesabaran Anda habis? Anda tidak sendiri. Menurut pakar pendidikan anak, anak-anak berusia 3-5 tahun memang sedang dalam tahap bermain-main dengan kemampuannya yang di satu sisi sudah bisa mandiri, namun di sisi lain tetap butuh perhatian dan cinta.
“Usia ini adalah usia paling aktif dan membuat frustasi untuk orangtua,” ujar Michele Borba, EdD, penulis buku ‘The Big Book of Parenting Solutions’.
Di masa usia anak paling aktif dan membuat frustasi ini, tidak sedikit orangtua yang justru melakukan kesalahan. Kesalahan-kesalahan berikut ini justru membuat orangtua makin pusing dan anak tidak terkontrol. Berikut ini lima kesalahan umum orangtua saat membesarkan anak usia 3-5 tahun seperti dipaparkan WebMD:
1. TIDAK KONSISTEN KARENA SESUATU YANG TIDAK DAPAT DIPREDIKSI DAN TIDAK DILAKUKAN DENGAN RUTIN, INI MEMBUAT ANAK MERASA TIDAK NYAMAN DAN AMAN
Perintah dan rutinitas membuat si kecil merasa memiliki tempat perlindungan dari dunia yang mereka lihat tidak dapat diprediksi,” ujar Spesialis Perkembangan Anak, Claire Lerner, seperti dikutip WebMD. “Saat ada sesuatu yang sudah bisa diprediksi dan dilakukan dengan rutin, ini membuat anak merasa lebih nyaman dan aman. Mereka pun jadi lebih bersikap manis dan tenang karena tahu apa yang akan terjadi,” tambahnya.
Solusi: Sebisa mungkin, usahakan lakukan segala sesuatunya sesuai rutinitas yang sudah dibuat. Melakukan hal itu secara konsisten memang sulit, apalagi jika dalam mengasuh anak Anda dibantu oleh orang lain (babysitter atau orangtua). Namun minta semua orang untuk ikut berperan serta dalam membuat rutinitas ini.
“Jangan sampai anak mendapatkan pesan berbeda,” ujar dokter anak Tanya Remer Altman, penulis ‘Mommy Calls: Dr Tanya Aswers Parents’ Top 101 Questions about Babies and Toddlers.
2. TERLALU BANYAK MEMBANTU ANAK KARENA ORANGTUA YANG TERLALU SERING MEMBANTU ANAK MELAKUKAN SESUATU, MEREKA MENYABOTASE KEMAMPUAN ANAK UNTUK PERCAYA PADA DIRINYA
Beberapa orangtua akan langsung membantu balita mereka saat si kecil tidak bisa melakukan sesuatu. Sebelum melakukannya, Anda harus paham bahwa dengan menolong anak misalnya memakai sandal atau memasang puzzle saat bermain, bisa membuat anak berpikir dia tidak bisa melakukannya sendiri atau dengan kata lain anak tidak kompeten.
“Orangtua yang terlalu sering membantu anak melakukan sesuatu, mereka menyabotase kemampuan anak untuk percaya pada dirinya,” ujar Betsy Brown Braun, penulis ‘You’re Not the Boss of Me’.
Solusi: “Orangtua harus mengajarkan anak untuk berusaha sendiri,” jelas Braun. Saat melakukannya, Anda tentu saja boleh memberinya semangat. “Jadilah cheerleader untuknya. Anda bisa mengatakan, ayo nak kamu bisa,” tambah Brown.
3. FOKUS PADA HAL NEGATIF, TIDAK TERLALU PEDULI ATAU BAHKAN INGAT AKAN HAL POSITIF YANG DILAKUKAN ANAK
Orangtua akan mudah terpancing emosinya ketika melihat anak melakukan hal-hal negatif dan tidak terlalu peduli atau bahkan ingat akan hal positif yang dilakukan anak. “Orangtua fokus pada apa yang tidak ingin anak mereka lakukan. Mereka akan mengatakan, ‘jangan memukul’, ‘jangan melempar’, ‘jangan pipis di celana’,” jelas Altman.
Solusi: Mulailah memperhatikan hal-hal positif yang anak lakukan dan berikan mereka hadiah jika berperilaku baik. Hadiah tersebut tidak harus berupa barang. Cukup dengan pujian atau memberikan mereka pelukan dan cium. “Hal-hal itu bisa berhasil untuk anak-anak usia pra sekolah,” tutur Altman.
Altman pun mencontohkan bentuk pujian apa yang bisa Anda ucapkan pada anak. “Aku senang melihat kamu bisa berteman dengan anak-anak di taman bermain”. “Aku senang kamu bilang terimakasih saat nenek membantumu mengambil mainan.”
4. TERLALU BANYAK BICARA KARENA BALITA TIDAK BISA BERPIKIR LOGIS DAN MEREKA TIDAK BISA MENGASIMILASI APA YANG ANDA KATAKAN PADANYA
Bicara pada balita bisa jadi salah satu cara untuk membuatnya menurut dan memahami sesuatu. Namun cara itu tidak tepat dilakukan saat mereka marah atau menunjukkan sikap memberontak.
“Bicara akhirnya bisa membuat pola bicara-merajuk-berdebat-berteriak-memukul,” ujar Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D. “Balita bukan orang dewasa. Mereka tidak bisa berpikir logis dan mereka tidak bisa mengasimilasi apa yang Anda katakan padanya,” jelas penulis buku ‘1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12’ itu.
Solusi: Phelan menyarankan, saat Anda meminta anak melakukan sesuatu, jangan mendiskusikannya atau membuat kontak mata. Kalau anak tidak mau mematuhinya, berikan peringatan atau hitung sampai tiga. Jika anak masih menolak, berikan time-out atau segera berikan ‘hukuman’, tanpa Anda harus menjelaskan.
5. LUPA MENGAJAK BERMAIN, PADAHAL YANG JUSTRU MEMBUAT ANAK BERKEMBANG DI USIA 3-5 TAHUN ADALAH BERMAIN
Banyak orangtua yang merasa perlu untuk membanjiri anak mereka dengan program-program pendidikan. Padahal belum tentu cara itu disukai anak. Hal yang justru membuat anak berkembang di usia 3-5 tahun adalah bermain, begitulah menurut psikolog dan penulis ‘Playful Parenting’, Lawrence J. Cohen, PhD.
“Dengan bermain otak anak berkembang sangat baik. Saat bermain anak akan secara natural membiarkan diri mereka mendapatkan tantangan, tidak terlalu gampang atau terlalu berat,” jelasnya.
Solusi: Biarkan anak punya waktu bermain yang cukup. Anak-anak usia pra sekolah mendefinisikan bermain sebagai melakukan apa yang mereka memang ingin lakukan.
“Anak-anak pra sekolah suka melakukan tugas rumah tangga, tapi itu mereka anggap bermain, bukan tugas mereka. Mereka memilih melakukannya karena mereka senang melakukan hal itu,” ujar Cohen.
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