Mengatasi Kebiasaan Berbohong Pada Anak

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anakdibohongi

Kita harus mengakui bahwa sebagai orang dewasa, kita pernah berbohong. Satu studi menemukan bahwa dalam seminggu, orang dewasa berbohong sekitar 30% saat berinteraksi empat mata (DePaulo dkk.,  1996). Terkadang, atau malah sering, kita juga melakukannya di hadapan anak ketika berbasa-basi. Contohnya, sewaktu kita mengucapkan “Baju ini cantik,” ketika anak tahu bahwa kita tidak menyukainya atau mengatakan “Ibu tidak apa-apa,” padahal kita terlihat sedih. Mereka menganggap basa-basi ini sebagai kebohongan. Hal ini wajar karena anak-anak baru mampu memahami kalimat eksplisit.

Namun demikian, lagi-lagi sebagai orang tua, kita cenderung marah atau kesal ketika anak-anak berbohong atau tidak mengatakan yang sebenarnya. Meskipun sendiri “kecil” kita berbohonh, namun kita tidak ingin anak-anak kita melakukan hal yang sama, atau berkembang menjadi orang dewasa yang dianggap pembohong dan tidak dapat dipercaya. Maka dari itu, sebelum kita mengatasi masalah kebohongan pada anak, kita harus mengubah cara pandang kita sebagai orang tua sebagai berikut:

• Pertama, kita harus bisa menahan diri ketika menghadapi perilaku anak-anak yang tidak bisa kita terima. Misalnya, kita menjadi sangat marah atau kecewa yang berlebihan ketika anak memecahkan sesuatu atau melakukan sesuatu yang salah. Dari hal tersebut, anak lebih cenderung untuk belajar bahwa lebih baik menghindari masalah dengan berbohong. Maka, di saat mereka tumbuh dewasa, mereka akan membawa pola pikir ini untuk menyelamatkan diri.

• Kedua, kita perlu melatih kemampuan berkomunikasi dengan anak-anak untuk menyampaikan bahwa kebohongan bisa membuat orang-orang kehilangan kepercayaan kepada kita. Pada akhirnya, hal tersebut akan merusak hubungan membuat kita kehilangan teman.

• Terakhir, kita harus ingat untuk memuji anak-anak saat mereka mengatakan hal yang sebenarnya, meski tentu saja kita tetap bisa memperlihatkan rasa tidak senang akan hal tersebut.

Bagaimana mengatasi kebiasaan berbohong kepada anak tidak bisa disamakan pada setiap tahap tumbung kembang mereka. Berikut adalah jenis dan tujuan kebohongan yang dilakukan dan bagaimana cara mengatasinya.

BAGAIMANA MENGATASI KEBIASAAN BERBOHONG PADA BALITA

Kemampuan dan jenis kebohongan yang dilakukan balita umumnya terbatas pada kebohongan mengenai diri sendiri. Contohnya, mereka akan mengatakan “Ga pup,”atau sejenisnya, padahal jelas-jelas ia baru melakukannya. Biasanya, mereka beralasan karena tidak mau popoknya diganti.

Yang dapat dilakukan: Hanya menyatakan apa yang sebenarnya terjadi, dengan menunjukan simpati kita. Misalnya, kita bisa mengatakan, “Adek gak mau ganti popok ya?” dan seterusnya.

BAGAIMANA MENGATASI KEBIASAAN BERBOHONG PADA ANAK-ANAK USIA PRA SEKOLAH

Anak-anak usia prasekolah biasanya berohong untuk berbagi fantasi atau berharap agar keinginannya terpenuhi. Pada tahap usia ini, mereka masih sulit memisahkan fantasi dari kenyataan dan kadang-kadang mereka dapat benar-benar meyakinkan diri bahwa hal (fiksi) yang mereka ceritakan itu benar-benar telah terjadi.

Yang dapat dilakukan: Pada usia ini, anak-anak bisa menjadi sangat marah jika ditantang atau tidak dipercayai. Mereka bahkan akan siap berdebat untuk meyakinkan anda mengenai hal tersebut. Maka, masukah ke dalam percakapan tersebut. Hal ini lebih bermanfaat untuk mencari tahu apakah mereka mau cerita versi mereka ini benar-benar menjadi kenyataan. Setelah itu, ingatkan mereka perlahan-lahan mengenai kenyataan yang sebenarnya terjadi.

BAGAIMANA MENGATASI KEBIASAAN BERBOHONG PADA ANAK USIA SEKOLAH

Pada usia sekolah, anak-anak mempelajari bahwa kebohongan dapat memberikan manfaat bagi mereka dan membantu mereka menghindari masalah. Pemikiran seperti ini biasanya mencapai puncak ketika anak berusia antara usia 6 sampai 10 tahun. Pada usia ini, mereka belum memahami konsep abstrak dengan baik dan cenderung lebih fokus pada hasil akhir daripada prosesnya. Contohnya, dengan mengatakan bahwa Ibu lupa membawakan bekal, ia mendapat perhatian lebih dan makanan ekstra dari teman-teman dan gurunya. Padahal sebenarnya ibunya telah membawakannya bekal.

Sejalan dengan perkembangan usia, mereka akan belajar mengembangkan konsep abstrak seperti rasa bersalah. Dengan perasaan ini, kebiasaan berbohong (jika ditangani dengan baik) akan mulai menurun mendekati usia 10 tahun. Pada usia-usia seperti ini pula, anak juga mampu melakukan beberapa kebohongan pro-sosial agar temannya atau orang lain tidak mendapatkan masalah.

YANG DAPAT DILAKUKAN UNTUK MENGATASI KEBIASAAN BERBOHONG PADA ANAK

Mengakui bahwa mungkin ia merasa khawatir tentang apa yang akan kita lakukan jika ia memberitahu tahu yang sebenarnya.  Karena itu, cobalah ungkapkan kenapa anda tidak senang dengan perbuatannya serta alasannya. Di lain waktu, gunakanlah kesempatan untuk membahas pentingnya kepercayaan dan beri bantuan untuk mengatasi masalah mereka.

Kebohongan yang kronis mungkin merupakan tanda ketakutan atau kecemasan. Secara impulsif, anak-anak berbohong ketika mereka takut mendapatkan konsekuensi (hukuman) atau reaksi orang tua yang tidak menyenangkan. Jika orang tua sering berteriak, marah, atau memberikan hukuman yang keras saat anak melakukan sesuatu yang salah, maka anak-anak akan lebih memilih untuk berbohong sebagai sarana melindungi diri mereka sendiri. Anak-anak lebih bisa berkata jujur ketika mereka melihat bahwa orang tua mereka mau mendengarkan sebelum menuduh, memberikan mereka pemahaman, dan menjaga emosi.

Sumber : Sayangianak.com

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